Feeling Anxious

This morning I went to the doc to have lab work completed as well as an EKG.  My blood was drawn.  What a prick!  Yeouch.  But, it’s par for the course and it’s done.  I got a Tetanus shot too.  Before leaving my appointment, the P.A. came in to tell me there was a small anomaly on my EKG reading.  I could see she circled the slight hiccup on the graph.   I’m hoping that it’s nothing to cause any delays but the reading will be forwarded on to a cardiologist just to ensure that I am indeed good to go next week.  I should hear from them by the end of this week, at the latest Monday.

I’ve been online watching before and after videos and looking at photos of others that have had the same procedure done.  Most of them praise their surgeon and talk about it being a  good experience. They don’t mind their scars.  I look to see what it is that I have to look forward to and wonder if I’ll share the same attitude following.  I know that the surgeon I'll be using has a little different approach when doing surgery.  He will perform the surgery while I'm in a seated position.  He says, "Everyone's stomach looks good when they're lying down". I have to agree with him, even my flabby abs look decent when I'm laying down flat on my back as long as I don't turn to either side.  So doing the surgery while in a seated position allows the abdominal area to be tight from the get go.  According to his assistant, she tells me I’ll wear a bikini again.  That remains to be seen as I haven’t donned a bikini out in public since I was pregnant with my oldest child over 25 years ago.  She also tells me I’ll never have to do another abdominal crunch. Ever.  THAT, on the other hand, I can live with.

Even with some of the pros being said, I’ve been feeling rather anxious about the surgery. As the date gets closer, the more anxiety I feel.  So much so that I realize when I think about it I’ll actually hold my breath for a moment or two.  Then I have to remind myself to exhale.  I was even worried as I drove to the doctor’s office that my blood pressure might reflect that anxiety.  Thankfully, it didn’t.  I don’t really understand the anxiety I’m experiencing.  This is something I’ve wanted for 15+ years.  There's a zero balance.  I have everything from prescriptions to post-op items to having someone babysit me the first couple days of recovery. Time off of work is scheduled and appropriate people notified and informed. Why am I occasionally feeling like maybe I should wait? 

Somebody just smack me, please. 

I’ll most likely continue to post blogs about this experience and how I’m feeling.  If you find them boring, then mosey on your way.  If you are just as I am now and interested in others stories, then I hope I share something insightful that can guide you through your cosmetic journey and deciding if it's for you or not. I know how helpful others stories have been to me and would like to return the favor for someone searching for answers to their own questions.   I’d like to post photos and maybe even video along the way.  I took pictures this morning with that purpose in mind but I’m still mustering up the courage to post them for viewing.